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She was hoping for a kiss, but it took a long time before he moved on that.
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When they eventually spent time alone in his apartment, he experienced erectile dysfunction. She was startled out of her sleep when he would suddenly sit up straight in the bed and yell: He was shaking, and so was she.
It took many repetitions of that event, before he opened up, just a little, and told her of one incident — out of many — when he was scared to death of mortar fire raining down on his platoon. It took months of patience and counseling, both for George as an individual and in a group, and for them as a couple, before he was comfortable enough to do those things he used to do before his deployment.
It was the love that developed between them, and the trust he had in her to protect him, that allowed George to slowly, almost, return to himself. The woman in the relationship experiences the effects of PTSD as well. For example, a sudden loud noise, such as a door slamming from a wind gust, could startle you and cause you to duck.
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The nightmares still occur sometimes, but both Maria and George know how to deal with them. Maria liked to dance and party, and that usually happens in loud places, which made him uncomfortable. To make her happy, he gradually agreed to go to such places, but to stay for just minutes. Eventually, that time was extended.
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Over a period of time, he told her more snippets of what he had experienced. She learned to listen and acknowledge, but not to pry or push. Allowing yourself to move slowly and experience pleasant moments, will lead to more such experiences.
Dr Ari DeLevie is a clinical psychologist with over forty years experience treating children, couples, families, groups, and trauma patients in the New York area. He was born in Haifa, Israel and lives in the United States.
1. PTSD is a very real illness
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Moyer instruments such as sexual assault, deli brands of prostate cancer surgery treatment of someone impersonating a decade, tga, colorado, learn something new or ed. And a person with PTSD might prefer to keep some distance, because of their anxiety and the traumatic experiences they had. Despite of the above, most people with PTSD have the same desires as any other person; they want to love, be loved, have friendships and so on.
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